For me, its brilliant blue skies, crystal clear air and snow capped mountain peaks to die for. There I am, standing at the top of some mountain, surrounded by those aforementioned peaks, listening to the snow gently crunching underfoot as I shuffle my skies to and fro in anticipation of the forthcoming decent.

Although I’ve not been for a while, those feelings are available to me whenever I want or need to pull them out, great isn’t it.

Thinking back to where it all started for me, my first trip was billed as a “learn and laugh” holiday and that it most certainly was.  No frills, low budget stuff, and all the better for it, great snow and lots of falling over.

I also remember the inappropriate clothing you buy. I had duly bought some all in one little number as recommended by the guy in the shop. From a distance, it looked blue, but it has a faint white stripe running through it, hooded, and of course well padded as was the fashion back then.

Picture this then. I’m standing, justly proud of my new attire, under some chair lift when I hear shouts from above my head. Looking up, I see three guys in fits of laughter. One of them manages to lean over without falling out and points with his pole directly at me…..”Hey….Andy Pandy…………!” and then promptly dissolves again in fits of giggles!

I’m unable to forget that either!!

I was considering taking up some form of Martial Arts again after a (very) long gap and had dropped in on any number of local sessions ranging from kick boxing to Karate. All looked the part, but something was missing…………..older students! Not to be put off, I still had a number of Arts to look at including Jujutsu and Aikido. The former had always appealed because it seemed to me, based on my limited knowledge to include all the elements of defensive, and if required offensive moves being throws, locks, kicks punches etc.

So off I went to look at Jujutsu, and I wasn’t disappointed. The only concern I had was the very direct nature of the session I went to, and if I’m honest in particular, the effect the five minutes or so of continuous punching was having on the recipient I was watching. Other than that, it looked great.

Then I went to Aikido. The first thing to say was that these guys were for real, that isthe attacks were full on and not staged in any way. I very quickly realised that my concerns over the other Martial Arts did not apply here. The first response, indeed almost the instinctive and instantaneous reaction required was in most cases to avoid the attack by moving offline and delivering an effective response in such a way as to limit any damage to both the attacker and more importantly oneself.

Since then I’ve had lots of breaks from training, but you know what, I still enjoy every minute when I am able to go. With the oldest club member being in their 70’s, I’ve got a very long way to go in every sense. Highly recommended, give it a go.

Whatever the answer is to that loaded question, the fact is that sometimes we all struggle to meet our own self imposed targets and over time this can affect our self confidence.

Creative visualisation is one popular technique that can help people achieve their goals, the idea being that you repeatedly envision a desired outcome. For example, if you are a golfer, you would visualise yourself sinking a put perfectly.

It’s important to visualise yourself being really successful at whatever it is that is causing you a problem. By touching the thumb and forefinger of the same hand together whilst you are experiencing the positive feelings (in order to imprint the feeling that comes along with the vision), you can at a later time recreate the desired feeling by repeating that small movement.

How well do you take compliments from your partner? Compliments build your confidence in your positive qualities so accept them gracefully and make sure you enjoy the moment!

Sometimes though, the worst feedback we receive is of course that which we give ourselves. In order to maintain your confidence levels, it is important to get rid of all self-defeating thoughts.  Take action, why not put money in a jar every time you have a negative thought about yourself or doubt your abilities? Do whatever it takes to remove these negative thoughts from your mind.  Negative people on the other hand, are another matter entirely.  Avoid them if you can or alternatively question whether you need that person around if they are causing you to be stressed every time you meet them.

Ultimately, it’s all about creating balance in your life.  If you focus on positive thoughts and try to remove negative influences, you will be rewarded with renewed levels of energy and drive both on a personal and business level.

Best of luck with that!

IF….. written in 1895 by  Rudyard Kipling.

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IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

——————————————————————————–

When I’ve struggled with something in the past, I’ve often think of this, a copy of which I keep on my wall. Obviously of its time, the sentiment appears to me to have universal appeal-but let me know what you think…

Best wishes to you, wherever you are.

Mike

Sometimes we make jobs much bigger than they are as a way of diverting attention to our anxiety instead of trying to face our goals. Whenever you try something new and you feel like you run the risk of failing, you can cut your anxiety down by pinpointing what it is you really have to get done and in what order. If you do fail to achieve something, try again- Failure isn’t an end. It’s very much part of the learning process. Chances are your first bite was too big, try smaller steps until you taste success, then celebrate it and off you go-revitalised.

By dividing the overall process into smaller pieces, and then by acknowledging and completing each task in turn, you can start to rebuild your confidence. Start with the most manageable task and when you’re rewarded by success, celebrate! Make the celebration of success a focus. Write it down. Get it done. Then cross it out and put a star next to it. You’ve started a journey on the road to self-confidence.

Experts say it takes 28 days to form a new habit, and even longer to ditch an old one. If you don’t have that kind of time, try to eradicate habits such as “I’ve always done it this way,” or “I’ll never remember.” –just go for it!

Remember, self-confidence flows from positive actions, so aim for the stars but take realistic steps along the way!

PS This is the book that Will refers to in the video……READ ONLINE HERE

Writing a journal can be a cathartic experience, meaning that it allows you to liberate pent-up emotions.  Dwelling on unpleasant feelings can be a vicious confidence killer.  You do not need any special equipment to begin a journal.  Grab a few sheets of loose-leaf paper and a pen and start writing.  You can also sit down at your computer, open a new manuscript and start typing.  The important thing is to get those feelings down on paper.   

After you have written about a particularly disquieting experience or nagging feelings of self-doubt, destroy your words.  Tear the paper into tiny pieces, or use it as kindling in the fireplace.  The more hands-on the process, the better. Writing that focuses on positive experiences can also build confidence in a hands-on way.  Create a list of your ten greatest qualities or five biggest accomplishments.  Write it on high-quality paper using your best writing or print it in a fancy font.  Then post it in a location where you’ll see it every day.     While you write about bad memories and unpleasant experiences to purge the negative feelings from your mind, writing about some of your greatest moments can also have an impact on your self-confidence.  Think of it as a memoir in progress.  Look back on your positive memories whenever you need to boost your self confidence. 

If you’ve just been through a tough time, think about how empowering it would be to help others who are facing the same state of affairs.  You will also gain self-confidence if you are seen as an expert on a topic, whether you’re writing about fishing or finance.  So the next time you feel down, consider picking up a pen for a much-needed self-confidence boost. 

It really works!